December

It's dark

I was invited to Christmas dinner and was told there would be kittens- not for dinner but for good cheer but I had to cancel due to a flu bug. My voice has now been missing for something like 3 days.

This video is the swale in my front yard.

During this time I had been in the pet food store buying cat food. I didn’t want to run in to anybody or have to speak with only a croak of a voice but of course someone I knew was in the dog toy section by the checkout. I killed time in the cat section, the dog section, and finally the guinea pig section. It was Christmas Eve and she looked forever at dog toys. Finally it was clear and I checked out with some polite whispers.

From the north party of Norway, correspondent vacationing there right now.

I haven’t been doing much.

Before sickness I met with my friend for coffee and after listening to me about a project I start soon she said “you feel nervous and vulnerable because you are going to be like a hermit crab moving from one shell to another.” And this was perfectly true what she said!

It’s been raining for days and when not raining it just stands there, gray and quiet. Less cars on the road, less other dog walkers. Walking is a good refresh. I’m also bringing back the home yoga meditation thing in the morning and evening. Not super long, I just need to bathe the brain with fresh spirit suds, star hums and earth pulses from deeply anchored locations.

I listened to geese today. I listened to the rain and creek. I wondered about the geese. Are they coming or going? How far do they have to go?

Life can feel very stressful at times. I’ve been thinking and reminding myself to remember to be more graceful with the jostling and bumps and dips and be less concerned with the unavoidable downturns, losses, unwanted outcomes. There could be ways to practice being less wounded by day-to-day happenings, not just to me, but all around. Anxiety will build on itself and make cities out of things that serve no good purpose.

When I praise my dog and pet her she always walks faster with a bounce of pride. When I pat a horse on its neck and say good job, I feel them lift in movement and mood. When I praise my cat, he swells in posture and confidence. People do that too when you praise them. When you tell a writer you like their writing, they immediately want to write more. So, I am in praise of praise.

I decided to take photos of the rain and water and gray and mud because that’s what is happening now. I usually take photos of pretty stuff, colorful, sunny, things framed in light, but I like the dormant gooey muddy dark time too.

I did a mud puddle contest and I believe we have a winner and it’s only about a block away from where I live.

This is my storm drain at night:

I aim to change some structure around me, my house, and I feel totally like a squishy little hermit crab scampering in the wide open. I’ll tell about it more once I know it’s going to really start.

And sometimes in the still dark morning and evenings I will soft focus on some points inside my head and chest and stomach and feet or wherever calls. To put intention into a short period of time that isn’t sponsored by anyone but myself. Invitation only.

Norway a few days ago, thank you contributor who likes remaining unknown

This was nice from William Stafford:

“The things you do not have to say make you rich.
Saying things you do not have to say weakens your talk.
Hearing things you do not need to hear dulls your hearing.
And things you know before you hear them - those are you,
those are why you are in the world.”