I was in a stuffy room full of people for 2 1/2 hours to work toward a compromise. The differences, the shades to work out weren’t that far apart to some and yet huge to others. The optics varied from being the splitting of hairs to being giant chasms between shared goals.
This was a group of people on the same side. I believe we all had good intentions. Everyone knew it would be a conflicting conversation.
Many hands shot up to get in line to be called on to talk. Sometimes people didn’t wait to be called on and would try to blurt out something in response to the current speaker. They got instantly reminded to not do that.
It is a lot of work for people to agree how to approach things, manage efforts, measure results, continue or change methods. How to create openings for others to join in meaningful, effective action?
It’s a lot.
On the way out someone said to me, “this reminded me of college, where we had meetings by consensus. Finally people came to agreement after losing the will to live.”
It was dark when we headed out. An unhappy person wanted to speak to me. She said, “you’re a good person. A wimp, but a good person.” I didn’t have a good comeback. But when I got home I thought, well, if I would have been a wimp I would have done what she wanted, but I did not. Also, is flexibility wimpy? Maybe. Maybe not.
Being democratic, doing democracy takes patience, work, time, humility, endurance, and maturity. It’s not for wimps.
At times the process can be time sucking and less than triumphant. And yet, it felt like a triumph by the end, we survived, got through it, and had come closer together than when we started.
Tomorrow we will march in a parade, unified, tossing candy, and smiling.
